


So cold and so sweet

by Silver_Ghost



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: A little angst, Canon Compliant, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-13 18:18:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20586923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silver_Ghost/pseuds/Silver_Ghost
Summary: One kiss can change everything.





	So cold and so sweet

Jon was walking towards the armory at a slow pace. It was a moonless night, with just a few stars that could be seen above in the black sky. The air was cold, though Jon felt strangely warm, or as warm as anybody could feel at the Wall. Satin was walking in beside him, humming a song to himself. They were crossing the yard, their steps muffled by the voices and shouting of the black brothers and king’s men who were still drinking in the King’s Tower.

Jon had drunk a few cups of ale, Satin clearly more than a few, by the look on his face. He was grinning like an idiot at anything and anywhere, and his cheeks had turned a lovely shade of pink. Nonetheless, Jon was glad for the company.

Once inside the armory, that were now Jon’s quarters as the Lord Commander, Satin started to put some things into place; clothes that were scattered around, some old parchments on his desk, some letters he started writing but never finished, the books he was reading last night when he found himself unable to sleep, and so on.

"You can leave that, Satin. You had a long night, you should have some rest." He told him. He also didn’t want his pretty and slightly drunk steward to stumble down the stairs and break his pretty neck, but Jon left that part out.

"Nonsense, my lord," came Satin’s answer. "I’m your steward. This is where I should be."

"Very well, then. But try not to break anything," He smiled. "You had a few cups of ale tonight, didn’t you?"

"It was wine," corrected Satin, in a slurred voice. "The brothers were in a cheerful mood, and I figured "why not?" He said, with that impish grin he had tonight.

"Oh." Was all he said. Sometimes, more often than not, Jon found himself remembering those days, when he could sat with his friends and drink with them, while laughing at Pyp’s and Grenn’s jokes, or just talking to Sam. Those days were over, though. None of them were with him now, he had sent them away. _A Lord Commander has no friends_.

"You should have been there, my lord." Satin said, while folding some clothes and stacking them in place.

"Another time, perhaps." came the lie.

"See, you always say that, but you never do."

Jon looked at him. "I…" he trailed off. What could he possibly say, though? That he was sorry? Satin was just his steward, Jon didn’t owed him any sort of explanation. _Why am I feeling guilty, then?_

Before he could mutter some excuse, though, Ghost entered the room, and he heard Satin gasp. That was the usual, Jon thought, most men of the Night’s Watch were still wary of Ghost, and the direwolf was growing bigger with every passing day. “It’s okay, he won’t hurt you,“ Jon was saying, but when he looked at where Satin was, he found his steward kneeling before the direwolf, scratching him behind the ear and running his fingers through Ghost’s white fur, a thing he had never done before. _Perhaps he is utterly drunk_, thought Jon.

And then, just to make the scene weirder for him, Ghost licked Satin in the face, and walked off to sit beside the fireplace, to gnaw at some bones.

Satin was laughing. _He has the warmest laugh_, Jon thought.

"I think he likes me."

"Very much..." He said, before realizing that he was blushing. _And why are you blushing now, you idiot?_ Jon turned around, hoping against hope that Satin hadn’t notice that.

"Its getting cold in here," Satin said after a while. "I ought to fetch more wood for the fireplace, and for your bedchamber as well, my lord."

"Yes, do that." If truth be told, he wasn’t feeling that much cold, but it was better to have Satin doing something in the room than having him looking at him with those big dark eyes, or talking to him with his sweet and soft voice. At least of late, it was that way. What was happening to him? He hadn’t felt like that since… "Since Ygritte." he whispered to himself.

Satin was already upstairs, fetching wood for Jon’s chambers. He managed to serve himself a cup of mulled wine, to calm his sudden nervousness. He gulped it down, long and deep, like some thirsty man, and when he turned, Satin was coming down the stairs.

The steward wasn’t paying attention to where he was stepping, so he tripped on his own feet and was about to fall down the steps, but Jon managed to catch him on time, grabbing him by the shoulders.

"You ought to be more… careful." he whispered, realizing mid-sentence just how close they were. Satin’s face was a few inches away from his, and he could see in clear detail those big dark eyes, the tiny freckles that covered the length of his nose, the rosy cheeks, the slightly parted lips. Jon could also hear the thrumming of Satin’s heart, or was that his own?

In the blink of an eye, Satin closed the distance between the two, locking their lips together. It was a pleasantly warm kiss, and he could taste the wine in Satin’s mouth. His grip on his steward’s shoulders was growing tighter, while Satin grabbed Jon by the neck, deepening the kiss.

_We shouldn’t be doing this_, he thought. _Then why does it feel so good? _whispered another voice inside his head.

Perhaps it was the wine and the ale he had drunk before, perhaps it was the lack of sleep, but in that moment, tiny as it was, Jon felt that for the first time in his life he had found the place where he belonged, with Satin in his arms, their lips pressing together in a warm and gentle kiss.

Just then, he let go of him.

"We shouldn’t have done that," he said, almost in a whisper, as if the words were afraid to leave his throat. Satin only stared at him with a pained expression, before looking down to contemplate the floor. Jon felt miserable then. He didn’t want to hurt him, that wasn’t his intention at all. A long silence hung between them afterwards.

"I’m sorry. It was my fault, my lord." said Satin in a rush, breaking the silence, while turning around and going for the door, never meeting Jon’s eyes.

He should let him go, he thought. It would be for the better. They would both get over it. Besides, wasn’t it him who just minutes before had said that they shouldn’t have done that, in the first place? _It was wrong_, he tried to convince himself. But Jon knew, deep inside his heart of hearts, that it wasn’t wrong. That it could _never_ be wrong.

"Stay," he heard himself say. Satin turned around, hands already on the hinge of the door, eyes wide open. "Just stay."

"…I could stay." came finally Satin’s answer, a smile playing at the corner of his lips. Jon crossed the room then, to where Satin was standing, with a new-found hope he didn’t know he needed. He embraced him, and kissed him, more wildly this time.

And Jon let himself get lost in the kiss, in the sensations that were sweltering inside of him, in the warmness of Satin’s hands around him, in the thrumming of their hearts together, in that intoxicating smell of peacefulness that only Satin had.

Jon let himself get lost in it, and he told himself that everything would be alright. This time he believed it.

**Author's Note:**

> This was a little thing I wrote during my re-read of ADWD cause I love these boys so much.  
Hope you guys enjoyed it! Kudos and comments are very much appreciated!


End file.
